Infidelity can be a deal-breaker in any relationship but many couples also choose to reconcile even after the transgression with both parties well aware of the challenges that lie ahead. Aside from the all-important issue of mutual trust, one of the most difficult challenges is rekindling passionate romance between the couple for several reasons.
The aggrieved party will be less than receptive to the romantic overtures of the transgressor because of the underlying pain of betrayal. The transgressor will then be less than receptive to the idea of romantic overtures after a few failed attempts. But such scenarios, fortunately, can be lessened with the following tips.
Agree on a Ceasefire
Yes, it is difficult to forget the events behind the infidelity but it is important to forget even for a few hours each day – and when we say forget, we mean deliberately and consciously forget. Set aside at least an hour each day when you and your partner can stop thinking and talking about the transgression and just focus on your relationship. Call a ceasefire on all hostilities, if you will.
Then you can try to rebuild your relationship from the ground up with little to none of the blame game that undermines your efforts at a successful reconciliation. Just cuddle while watching your favorite movie, if you must, so as to have a couple of hours of calm amidst several hours of storm in your relationship.
Make Conscious Efforts
Rekindling the fires of romance after infidelity is a conscious choice! Each day, you have to make a conscious choice to forgive your partner and yourself for the infidelity so that you can move forward with your relationship. Keep in mind that your decision to work at reconciliation was a conscious choice, too – feeling the romance is just another step toward it.
By the way, many aggrieved individuals feel that the infidelity was also their fault. It may be or it may be not but whatever your feelings about the matter, you have to make the conscious choice to forgive yourself for whatever faults you believe you have in the issue. It is your first step toward forgiveness for your partner.
• Plan for dates. Think of it as your second chance at courtship.
• Accept the romantic overtures of your partner without placing any malice toward the act. You will be happier for it, too, especially when you start giving romantic overtures to your partner in return.
• Avoid rushing into sexual encounters with your partner. Often, the best way to make sex more passionate is to build the suspense– start with petting, cuddling and kissing so that sexual hunger can be started all over again.
• Focus on what you like and love about your partner. Make a list of his good physical and mental traits, if you have to, and then read it just to remind yourself that, indeed, you loved the right man but he is just human. When you focus on his adorable, likable and loveable qualities, you will be able to rebuild passion in your relationship. Perhaps, he is also doing the same where you are concerned.
Most important, you have to look good and feel good about yourself. Nothing is sexier than a woman who is confident about who and what she is!