Familiarity breeds contempt – or in many cases of long-term happily-married couples, contentment. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with contentment per se but it can also lead to complacency that can erode on the couple’s passion for each other in and out of bed.
Keeping your relationship passionate – or hot, as we like to say in pop culture – requires hard work from you and your spouse! But hard work can be fun, exciting and enjoyable so much so that you will want the thrill of courtship in your relationship on a daily basis, if possible. Here are a few tips to start.
With your busy work schedules, you will have little to no time for activities enjoyed during the first few months of your relationship –the memorable weekend romp in a seaside resort, for example. But you can always wax nostalgic about these times and, in the process, remember what attracted you to each other in the first place.
But there’s a scientific explanation for it, too. Recalling your memories can stimulate the production of norepinephrine, a neurotransmitter that affects attention, response and heart contractions. In layman’s terms, its release will unlock your passions by stimulating strong contextual clues like smell, sight and sounds.
And we just don’t mean role playing as precursor to sexual adventures; think cops-and-robbers, nurse-and-patient, and maid-and-master games. You should also play games unrelated to sex such as joining couples’ adventure races, competing against each other in charades, and being teammates on a game of basketball, for example.
Boosting dopamine levels can increase sexual tension and, thus, sexual enjoyment. The scientists have an explanation for it: The brain cannot differentiate between internal anxiety caused by sexual attraction with external anxiety as a result of a novel situation. When you cultivate external anxiety via competition, it can carry over into internal anxiety in the bedroom where it matters the most.
Adding role playing scenarios where the female leads or dominates the male certainly adds to the excitement in the bedroom, too. You need not engage in BDSM practices just to get the sexual energy flowing but you should consider role play like professor-student and nurse-patient.
Learning new moves will also keep the excitement in the bedroom! Just throw one or two new moves to keep each other on your toes.
Scientists have discovered that happy couples are literally addicted to each other as evidenced by their receptivity to oxytocin, a hormone responsible for increased arousal and need for physical contact. In fact, oxytocin is released after orgasm, thus, explaining the need for cuddling after sex among couples in love.
The bottom line: Maintain physical contact as often as possible even in small ways. Kiss and hug whenever possible. Give each other sensual massages. Touch each other on intimate parts like the inside of the thighs, the nape of the neck, and even the center of the palm during everyday tasks.
Indeed, complacency has no place in keeping a passionate relationship so get to down to it now.